bitter.

if you aren't going to contribute, then DON'T JOIN.
thanks for ditching.
thanks for forgetting (about more than one thing).
thanks, my "friends".

I'm going to drink some orange-ade now.

Deferred!

Hi everyone! I got deferred. Well...better than rejection? Sometimes, I do think college admissions are a crapshoot (gasp i said the "seyward"!). Seriously. The people I thought would get in got deferred or rejected, some more qualified than the people who got in. Nonetheless, everyone who did get in are also very qualified, and I'm happy for them:)

Wow. So... I should start buying those Christmas presents now, huh? And work on those college apps again.

MY WONDERFUL CHRISTMAS BREAK:
-finish supplements for Harvard, Princeton, Yale, Pomona
-finish Columbia application
-read 700 pgs of Brother's K
-film Brothers K project for English
-review Hamlet and Macbeth for IB Commentary
-read Native Son
-Econ project (film)
-Prepare stats presentation
-Revise IB extended essay, write abstract
-Work on sketchbook!!
-Send art supplement?
-Work on AEP
-Work on CSUPERB

A Soliloquy

I like talking to Byron and Amy afterschool about random things like Desperate Housewives and possums. We have interesting discussions.

I like English class. Today I was Polonius from Hamlet. People wanted me to be him because he's a short old man, and apparently I fit the role quite well. I'm going to die tomorrow when Hamlet (Efrem) kills me.

I like tutoring. Yesterday I had my first tutoring session with this sophomore named Frank. I'm tutoring in Algebra 2 honors so far, but I also have a girl who needs help in algebra 2, and a guy who needs help in english 2 honors. It's a very rewarding feeling when I help someone understand a concept in math, and I really hope the tutoring session helped Frank.

I am very excited about Dancing With The Staff... it's probably the first "fun" school-related activity I'm going to this year (football game didn't really count because it wasn't that great), and I'm SO glad that the math test was moved to Friday.

I need new clothes. And shoes. I've been wearing my brown polka dot flip flops like every single day!! I want to shop.

I miss summer.

intuition

It's been forever since I updated this blog. Forgive me! I've been neglecting this for so long because either I'm too busy to write or I don't know what to say. Well... now I'm here, it's almost 11, I'm listening to Intuition by Feist, and I miss summer. I remember the great ole' days of summer vacation.. staying up past 12, chatting, reading books I WANT to read, and having no particular worries or anxiety. Now everything is just BLAH. Senior year isn't very great; in fact, ever since sophomore year I feel like everything's been going downhill.. I've become closer with some people, but I'm feeling as if I'm also losing some of my friends too. Oh well. SIGh. The school year is almost 1/4 over, and it feels like it hasn't even really started... the "best year" of our high school career isn't so great.. :\

So there's really not much to say except I submitted by Stanford application on Oct 14, 1 day before the art supplement deadline, and now I'm sooo anxious and can't wait until December. ACTUALLY, I can because it might not even be good news and I don't want to be disappointed. So I'll just say I can't wait til' winter break because nothing can make me upset during Christmas time.

What else...? I have a very boring life. Besides school, I have nothing to talk about. There's NOTHING. NADA. I wish I could be like my sister, who has something interesting to say every single day. What's there to say for me?? I took SAT II Math and Bio today, and hopefully I'll never have to touch those Princeton Review/Baron's review books again. I still have SAT I in December, but now I'm contemplating whether or not to even take it. I already signed up, so I might as well take it, but seriously. I don't know if a few more points is really going to affect my chances of getting in. Maybe if I get 2300+, but really what's the difference between 2220 and 2250? One or two problems? Meh. I guess I can waste another Saturday...

LDI is coming up (next weekend) and to tell you the truth, I'm not very excited. I am rooming with sophomores... however cool they are, I don't know how well I'll fit with their group. I wish my friends were going, but NOO they're going to Cal Tech for Siemens.. which brings me to another topic to talk about... EVERYONE WHO WORKED W/ DR. K ARE SIEMENS REGIONAL FINALISTS!! everyone except me, that is! WoOotttt. no, i'm really happy for them but it's kinda saddening to be excluded from it. o well i think we're still doing something else in January and I can be involved:)

Roar. what else is there to say? Ok random thoughts... I have to finish a 1000 page book by Tuesday (Brothers Karamazov by Dostoevsky), and I'm only on page 60:(. I'm looking forward to Dancing with the Staff this Wednesday. Should I go to the Harvard admissions session in Irvine on Tuesday? T_T I want to, so I can learn more about the school, but I might be busy.. and I don't think I can get in anyways. I love art class, especially sitting outside painting my naked lady, feeling the calm breeze going through the strands of my hair..it's very relaxing and I'll be sad when it's time to go inside because of the rain. I also feel very bad about neglecting Mr. Sketchbook.. I feel an urge to start anew, especially because it already fell apart. >< I should really pay attention in econ more... and stats for that matter.. i failed the last test. I need to participate more in English and participate at least once in philosophy. I am going to tutor three people starting next week, but two of them haven't even replied yet><. I'm excited about AEP on Monday, but I hope people actually show up!! OKAY i'm outta here.

CIAO!

pain and high school

I didn't go to CSUF today. Sorry :( I stayed up til midnight yesterday typing up that law suit for my uncle... and when I woke up today, my entire body was exhausted and in pain. I still feel that way. My neck feels sore (I keep asking my sister and mom for massages, lol), my head hurts, and my back feels weird too. It sucks because my condition is making me incredibly lazy. BUT, I took a Math IIC practice test today. And made a card for Vicky's birthday... but other than that... nothing.

Well, nothing productive at least. I'll tell you what I DID do today, and it really embarrasses me. Haha I watched tons of TV. First, I watched Ice Princess. I like that movie a lot. Casey's character is inspirational. She turned down Harvard for iceskating! Well, that's not all. My sister and I then watched Newport Harbor: The REAL OC. I know. GASPS. I hate those kinds of reality shows, but we were really bored. But you know what? Those kinds of shows are somewhat addicting. Because before we knew it, we started watching more Newport Harbor online, and then the Hills and Laguna Beach Season 1 on the computer in the afternoon. OMG.. we are so woo liao. The girls are all like obsessed with guys, drama, spending money, etc. etc. But it's still fun to watch them make a fool of themselves.

Tonight while working on some math problems, I watched Never Been Kissed for like the ... fifth time or so. Yes I know, I'm a sad little girl. But yeah, it made me think a lot. About cliques and highschool.. especially after watching Laguna Beach and those kinds of shows, where it's obvious that these people are the so-called "popular" kids at their school. And it made me think... when exactly does popularity start? How does one become popular? Are the cliques really distinct, even at Troy?

I think I noticed the beginnings of popularity ever since like 2nd grade, but I don't think it really began until like 5th or 6th grade. I liked it when I was in Eastside, and popularity didn't really exist. Everyone was friends with everyone. Then all of the sudden middle school came, and people began changing. They started to wear makeup, dress real slutty-ish, and began dating. What the freak. I don't get them. Why would people want to grow up so fast? Nowadays, I see little tweens that look older than me. I freak out when I see the Bratz dolls. This generation.... *sighs*. We grew up too fast.

I'm not saying that all popular people are like that. Some are actually really genuine, nice people. My best friend from elementary school, whom I still talk to, is popular but not in "that" way, you know? She's senior class president at Canyon this year. They're popular because they are friendly to everyone.

Who am I talking about then? I'm talking about the kids like those I see on Laguna Beach. The ones who only care about appearances and guys. They just seem very fake and shallow. Well actually I take that back... not all of them are. But I'm talking about ones like Kristen. And that Kendra girl from season 3. The rest are just plain annoying and drama queens. LC, for example, is okay but a drama queen. Chrissy from newport harbor is okay, but she's annoying.

You know what I noticed though? I've been sheltered. Either that, or Troy isn't your typical high school. But I think it's the former. I know that we have the "popular crowds", the ones that hang out near the quad area during breaks, but they don't seem as bad as these Laguna Beach kids, or heck even the popular people at El Rancho. But I don't know... maybe it's because it's because I'm in IB and Troy Tech. I have like no classes with these people. At El Rancho and Canyon Rim, I was in a lot of classes with them. Now, I am surrounded by a lot of motivated people. They care about learning, even if they don't like to show it.

And then I started thinking about college. Why exactly do I want to go to a private school like Stanford or the Ivy leagues? Because I know that, even though these cliques will still exist, they won't be as bad as ones at like, the UCs or Cal States. I want to be surrounded by these brilliant thinkers, not slackers who ask dumb questions and just don't care. It's true... the environment you are at really REALLY influences the way you work. Or, at least for me.

Wow. This post sounds really judgmental.. but, that's just some of my opinions. :P I'm off to bed now!!

Three more days

AHHH!! Three more days til school starts again. I'm sad, nervous, but kinda excited too. I get to see all my lovely friends again :). Hopefully, I'll have lots of classes with them, I'll get the teachers I want, and I won't be TOOO stressed. I'm kind of worried. Am I stretching myself too thin? Am I doing too much? I have FBLA (vice president duties.. it'll take a LOT of my time), AEP (this will take up most of my after school time), media tech (webdesign.. clubs), club websites, and maybe Troy website. And then I applied to be western region membership committee for FBLA, which if I get it, will take up lots of time. But it's not like I can back out now. Okay, sorry. I sound like a nerd :(

Well, I got back from northern cali last week. It was a nice, relaxing vacation like what I said in my xanga. I liked Stanford, a lot. I had a good time at Carmel, Monterey (aquarium was cool), Santa Barbara, and lots of other places along the coast. I also ate delicious food (Bubba Gumps.. yum! and mediterranean food), hung out with Rekha, and shopped (but bought nothing but a dress from ROSS). It was nice and short, and a good way to end the summer.

As for school starting, I still have to finish up some last minute work, like studying for SAT II Bio (take practice tests) and Math IIC. I am scared about the ACT; the McGraw Hill book is so stupid!! I keep on missing stupid things. HMPH. At least I have my IB Essay done with! Yeah! Almost 3000 words! Hmm... Okay, I'm bored and I don't know what else to say. I guess I'll update more after school starts.

=)

Can I make it?

It's 11:43 right now, and I want to try to post this entry up by midnight so that it doesn't say that I wrote this on the 15th. Anyways, it's freaking hot upstairs right now, but my parents are cheapos and I'm trying to be friendly to the environment, so for now I'll just have to bear with this humid weather. I haven't really been doing much lately, just finishing up some last minute work I procrastinated all summer long. I made out a end-of-summer list of goals and things I need to get done by each day. Today I promised myself I would outline for my IB essay, find all my sources, and start writing, and to my surprise, I followed through! Writing the extended essay is not as hard as I thought... I'm REALLY glad I picked art rather than science or english. Writing on art makes me feel like an art critic, and it's fun to just analyze the paintings. So today after searching through the shelves of over-sized books and making my mom and her library friends search for my books, I finally gathered a stack of good resources I can use for my essay. Two of them are specifically about Picasso's relationship with his women (he was SUCH a womanizer), and one is specifically a biography on Dora Maar herself. Wow. I love big libraries. It's great to go from a public library, disappointed and empty-handed, to a bigger library and finding books that will actually help me! =]

Yep yep. So I've begun writing, and I now have almost 1000 words. I like typing at CSUF; it's air-conditioned, the keyboards are nice, the computers are big and fast, AND they have the newest version of Microsoft Word, which I LOVE. Right now I'm waiting for my Microsoft Office 2007 30 Day Trial to finish installing. BUT YES, I love the new version. It makes me want to type and type and type and type...

I haven't seen many of my friends for a long time. I might go to Downtown Disney on friday, what about you Byron?? I want to eat at the Rainforest Cafe. I dont think I'm going to watch Rush Hour 3. Ok i'm tired. goodnight!

getty & auntie

Hello!!

Sorry I wasn't online yesterday. I went to the Getty Center with Anne! Anne is one of my best friends... she's like a junior in college now. Pretty scary how time flies by. Yep yep.. well, we haven't seen each other in such a long time, so it was GREAT to finally hang out with her for almost the whole day. She's going to study abroad in Scotland next year, so I won't get to see her for another year :( BUT, we are planning to go to the OC International thing and she can get me free funnel cake and lemonade:)

The Getty Museum was cool like always. I saw new exhibits... one about animals and this photography one. I drew in my sketchbook like a art nerd. :) It's for IB art. Hmm, yep and we walked around the garden and took pics. I'm too lazy to post them up, maybe sometime later..

After that, we went to Santa Monica for lunch and shopping. We ate New York Style Pizza by the slice (I <3 Tomato and Basil Pizza!) and then went to Pink Ice, the place where I bought my favorite dress (see your right for picture). I bought a pink and white shirt for $10. It's so comfy and cute but it's kinda big on me. I might wear it on the first day of school :) I like it.

Then we couldn't find my dad (like always), so we had to wait. While we were waiting there was this girl who was singing, and she said she's a "top myspace artist". She was selling her CDs for only $5. Maybe I should have bought one and got her autograph. Who knows, maybe she'll be famous someday.

Then we got starbucks. Thanks Anne for the frappuccino!! :) And then we found my dad. And then we sent Anne home and went to Costco, then to Staples. And that was my not so typical Sunday.

Today wasn't that typical either. I woke up at 9:30, watched some of Finding Nemo, and then went to eat brunch with my Ayi and sister at Cocos. She showed us her Iphone, which is oh-so-cool! I want one, though it won't be "practical". Dude it has everything, even Youtube. I tried searching for my "Fotografia" music video but it couldn't find it. Hmm. Then we sent Jeje home and I went to Ayi's house to type. It took like 15 minutes -_- hahaha. I got $25. I feel bad. Maybe I should act like an Asian and refuse the money.
:)

I have lots to do before school starts. I won't be online much, but I will check my email and blog!:)

senior photo, FBLA, and 7 secrets

Today was not a typical Saturday.

Instead of going to art class, which I normally do on Saturday mornings, I was allowed to sleep in until 10:30. Then I ate breakfast and got ready for... my SENIOR CLASS photo.

So we got there a little late, but it was all good. People were still getting their pictures taken, so it wasn't my turn yet. Then I went in, and got lots of pictures taken of me. The photographer was really nice, and she asked about my summer. I talked about going to Chicago for FBLA, and surprise surprise, she's from Chicago! So yeah, that's what we talked about. She took so many pictures of me... some of the regular yearbook pictures, and some with props and background settings. I hope they turned out okay. Nope, I didn't get them back yet. They had difficulties with the computer, but they'll mail them on Monday.

While waiting for my pictures to be printed (the lady didn't tell me about the computer problems until I waited for a good 10 minutes -__-), I couldn't help to notice how young I look compared to other the other seniors taking their pictures. None were from Troy, thankfully (I'm sort of antisocial when it comes to people I don't really know, if you haven't realized by now), but there were some people from other schools that looked OLD. And they all had makeup and their hair done... it made me feel so YOUNG.

So anyways, after that, we brought lunch home from El Pollo Loco. Then at around 2:20, I went to CSUF to have the FBLA board meeting. We got a lot done! Michael's a good President. Oh and I'm officially the vice president! :) Hopefully next year will be a fun year for FBLA.. and we'll beat Homestead? :] Maybe maybe. Jesse, Michael, and I will make sure we're better prepared for the conferences and events. :)

After that, I came home. My aunt came to visit, and I just showed her my prom pictures (she said, like all the other people on facebook, that I looked like a china princess/celebrity in my taipei-LA pictures) and the Deadwood Dick website. Thenn I ate dinner. I FINALLY came up with a new IB essay topic-- "How did Pablo Picasso's relationship with Dora Maar influence his depiction of women from 1935-1945?" Hahaha. yay!! it's pretty easy to talk about, AND it's specific :). Dude, Picasso was SUCH a womanizer... -_-

OHH guess what?! My mom bought my sister and me a 48 pack of prismacolor markers and 48 prismacolor colored pencils! :)

Anyways, I got tagged by my sister:

Seven Secrets

1. When I was in pre-school, I pooped on my pants. My teacher put my underwear (with my poop) in my cubby. My mom saw it and thought it was a brownie or something. Thankfully she smelled it and saw the underwear. :P

2. I love old people. Especially old people with a lot of wrinkles. They're so awesome to draw.

3. I used to do this saliva thing in "Big Daddy" where I spit and then suck the saliva back in. I was a pro.

4. I love Desperate Housewives. And I never close my eyes.

5. I used to be scared of rollercoasers. REALLY scared. The first time I went on Ghostrider, WOW I was freaked out even after going. Now I'm better.

6. I want to be a ballerina, and I want to win So You Think You Can Dance. I think Benji is cute.

7. I don't want to be a science major, but I have a feeling I might have to.

I tag: BYRON! the only person who reads this.

Shame on me

Shame on me for procrastinating on the IB extended essay! School's almost here, and my Microsoft Document file labeled "IB essay" is completely blank. I don't know what I'm doing...

But I'm making progress, or so I like to think. This week I went to the CSUF library and checked out a whole bunch of Picasso books, AND I'm reading this huge Picasso biography/artwork book I bought at Borders for only $20. I love Picasso. I love his style(s), his beautiful color choice, his quotes, his imagination. Okay that was kinda random. So, I know for sure that I'm going to change my topic, but what to? I don't want to write about Guernica.. it would be a lot easier, but I don't want to choose a topic that's too popular. Guernica is way too popular. Hmm.. I was thinking, how about if I point out the irony in Picasso's progression as an artist? I mean, Picasso started out as a traditional painter prodigy, and ended up drawing and painting like a child. I think that might be interesting... I can even mention some biographical info, like how his father was a painter and made him attend this strict art school that made him copy all the time.. and then as he grew up, he picked up his own style??

I DON'T KNOW, ARGH this is frustrating. I think I might just stick with talking about the Blue Period, and how maybe Picasso was influenced not only by his friend's suicide, but also by the collapse of the Spanish empire after its defeat in the Spanish American war?? HMM...

Hehe, well sorry for boring you with that, Byron! Anyways, today was another sister bonding day, and as usual, we went to Cinema City to watch a movie. After watching a bit of Harold and Kumar on TBS last night, my sister and I agreed to watch Stardust after seeing some of the trailers. It was surprisingly very good! I really like fantasy movies... so if you do too, WATCH IT!:) It's reminiscent of Hocus Pocus (with the whole Witch-getting-young thing) and Princess Bride, but I liked it. It's sad though, cuz the main character (actor) is not even on the movie posters but he's the MAIN CHARACTER!! All because he's not famous enough, I suppose... with Claire Danes and Robert De Niro AND Michelle Pfeiffer as part of the cast.. but still, that's kinda sad. He looks pretty girly but kinda cute. His name is Charlie Cox.



:)

And here's the movie poster, which doesn't even mention his name.



OMG Robert De Niro was so hilarious as a pirate:) And Michelle Pfeiffer was pretty scary looking. Go watch it sometime!!

Yep yep... after that, we went to In N OUt, where we ate delicious hamburgers and fries. YUMMY. I think my appetite is growing because I was not satisfied with just a hamburger and fries. >< Then we went to Aaron Brothers and Michaels... bought nothing.

OHHHH yesterday, I went to the dentist and I got a B for brushing. Not bad (considering the fact that Denise is picky and strict about that kinda stuff)!! I still need to wear my retainers though :( They hurt so much whenever I put them on!
Hmm. Ohhhh I don't want summer to end. It's ending so soon!! I want to go on vacation though :). Byron, I dunno when we'll go to the zoo.. at least not during this summer. I will be gone from 19-23 and I still need to write IB paper and stuff. Maybe... on a day we have no school?

I don't want school to start......

Christina Liu's Day Off

Saturday was fun.. I'm sorry your day was not, Byron! :( But, yah.. yesterday was a good day for me. I liked getting out of the house after being stuck home for so long. Let's see... first I went to art class. I saw Amy there! Yeah. My art teacher is not helping me as much as she used to. Maybe it's because I'm not "copying" from another artist anymore, and finally doing some of my own work, without photo reference either, so she can't really help me. But I do feel kinda lost.. I don't know how I can add more color without ruining the whole nighttime feel.

:) So after art, I went home and ate lunch. At 1, I went to Ice Palace in Yorba Linda to iceskate with Sameen, DC, Vicky, Amanda, Justin, Daniel, Jane, Evan, and Jenaun. It was super fun this time, especially because I mustered enough courage to get off those walls! :] Thanks Evan for skating with me a lot even though you could have gone a lot faster. Thanks Daniel for pushing me and making me fall -__-. Thanks Sameen for holding my hand when I went in the middle for the first time. Yay. :) I want to go ice skating again. Byron, why could't you come?!?!? :(

After that at like 3:30, my dad picked Jane, Evan, and me up from the rink. We were talking about careers and stuff on the car. I found it very surprising when Jane said she didn't want to be a scientist anymore. She wanted to major in business?!! Hmm, and she told me I'd make a good pediatrician, cuz I'm good with kids and stuff. But that would require spending years (and money) in med school... so I dunno. Yep. And then Evan was talking about how grad school is a lot more important than undergrad, and it's better to go to a not-so-competitive school and do well than go to an Ivy league and fail.

Hmm, after we went home, we went back out again to Rowland Heights to get my dad's cell phone fixed. After that, we went to the 99 Ranch Market for groceries and then to Diamond Plaza for dinner. We tried this new place and got shaved ice too:) It was good. We should have an 'asian adventure' someday, Byron. Cue + chinese food!

At 11 PM, my sister and I watched Ferris Bueller's Day Off for the first time. I love that movie! Ferris is so cuteeee. 80's movies are pretty cool (Breakfast Club, Sixteen Candles)!



Yea, that's all... tonight my parents are out to someone's birthday banquet, so my sister and I will probably watch James Bond Casino Royale and eat Woodranch!! :] now I'm gonna study more bio-__-

Friday Sister Bonding

Fridays are my sister bonding days.

I loveeeeee that she can drive!! Today I woke up pretty early, at like 10, and watched some TV while eating breakfast. We watched The View and Boy Meets World. At 11:30, we went to Cinema City and watched Hairspray. It was pretty good!! I love musicals. And Zac Efron was a lot better in this movie than in High School Musical.



Yep, I love the whole message of the movie, and the singing was pretty good too. The movie was a bit corny, but I liked it. I didn't watch the original movie though.. so I had no idea what was going to happen, although it was pretty predictable.. hehe. Did anyone think that Amanda Bynes looked a little too tan?

Ok so afterwards, my sister and I wanted to eat Thai food, across the street from Cinema City. But she went on the wrong lane, so we couldn't go to the one we always go to. But then I remembered the new Thai restaurant that opened near El Rancho, so we went there. It was surprisingly very good! $6.50 for lunch special that comes with salad, soup, and an entree. Hehe. After that we went home, and I took a nap (after studying a bit for the ACT... gosh, science is actually kinda hard).

At 5, my mom came home and we went to Irvine 20/20 place to pick up my glasses. They're cool!! They kinda look like my red ones, except they're dark brown and are Juicy Couture. :0 They were pretty expensive, but now I can see! Hehe. After that, we went to Sears, and then my dad came.. we tried to find Michaels, but couldn't, so we just ate dinner at Pat and Oscar's. We got a REALLY good deal- 12 breadsticks, Greek salad, pizza+ham, BBQ chicken, and baby back ribs for $20!! It's their promotional family feast thingy and it was worth it. We still have so many leftovers.

OHHH and before we went to Pat and Oscars, we were trying to find a parking spot, and then we found one. But then this other car TOOK OUR SPOT, which we were TOTALLY WAITING for. My dad honked. And she didn't move. Then this white guy came up to her and asked her, "don't you know that they were waiting for this spot first?" and I dunno what she said, but the guy called her a B*TCH. I think that really scared her because she wouldn't get out her car...

:p yep, that was my day. Tomorrow is iceskating and maybe movies again:) I love summer!

wet ear, chipotle, and promotion

Good... morning(?) ladies and gentlemen.
Yes, it's already the next day and I haven't even begun thinking about sleeping yet. Lately, I've been going to sleep pretty late. I hope this doesn't develop into a bad habit once school resumes. :(

So today was pretty ordinary, except for the fact I went back to CSUF after never stepping on campus for a whole week! Sameen and I just continued refining.. we're almost done I think. Just one more formula!! But yeah. I saw Byron again! and twins! :] It was like old times, except Chris wasn't there :( But anyways. OMG how could I forget? Okay, so at 8:30 I had an ear appointment, because my ear is being weird (after my surgery).. it keeps having REALLY smelly liquidy stuff come out.. it's disgusting. The doctor gave me some medicine though, but I still have to visit Dr. Friedman at LA a week from today.

Okay so where was I? Oh yeah, CSUF. So.. Byron left me sooooo early:( He went to Minnie's house or something, cuz they went to the OC fair today. I wanted to go!! But it was last minute, and my mom would have said no. I asked my dad and he said I could go on the weekend, but not today! WTHECK><. O well, I might go on Sunday (last day apparently) with Anne, my friend whom I haven't seen for such a LONG timee.

So yeah.. it was lonely without Byronie there, but at least I had Sameen! At 12, we went with Efrem to eat at Chipotle. Haha. I told him my porkeypop stories, and he told us funny stories.. hm.. oh yeah! I saw Mr. Liem there! Geeze Efrem really likes talking to teachers.-___- Hah, then he left, and Sameen and I went to Yogurtland.:)

After lunch, we planned a Downtown Disney extravaganza for the summer, and just studied and stuff. I studied a lot for SAT bio! Actually.. I didn't really. Just finished circulatory system, and now I'm on to respiratory. :]

Tonight I'm making a FBLA promotional video for the first club meeting. It's soo tiring. Windows movie maker sucks.. it's so slow!! Haha. Well, I'm tired but I'm determined to finish this tonight.

bonfire adventure and tyke's pee-athon

Monday was the bonfire adventure I planned. It was very funnnn. Despite all the frustration that resulted from planning it, it was worth it. It was the first time I went to the beach with a lot of my friends, the first time I made a bonfire, and the first time I went to BJs. I loved every moment of it.

Yesterday started at approximately 9 AM, when I woke up from my wonderful sleep. Sameen was going to come at around 11, so I began putting frosting and sprinkles on the birthday cupcakes while watching an old repeat of Full House. Then at 11, she came over and we made the brownie cake together. Actually, Sameen did everything. I just watched her do it. lol. We ended up watching the entire A Walk To Remember movie. I don't care what anyone says about it, I still think it's the sweetest movie ever. Landon and Jamie are so cute together. Then at 1, Melody came over. We just played with my tablet, listened to music, and helped decide which papers I wanted to bring to burn at the bonfire. I got a whole stack ready, including my compsci, spanish, english, and APUSH notes. :] Then at 2, Vicky finally came, and we watched some youtube videos. Then we left at around 2:30, and got to the beach 1 hour later. :)



The beach was really pretty and uncrowded. Maybe it was the beautiful weather, or the fact that it was a Monday and nobody was really there. We first played a little in the water, and then went to play beach games like football and frisbee. Nobody wanted to play with me, so Melody and I went to dig a hole-- our attempt at burying DC. Unsuccessful. Not the hole, but getting DC to get in there. Jane, on the other hand, cooperated very nicely and let us bury her.



It was so much fun. Then we went to the water area some more.. I took lots of pictures, we jumped up and down, I collected seashells, and I lost my Canon camera case. I'm sad. But at least I didn't lose my camera..






After that, we went to eat dinner at around 6:30ish. We ate at BJs. My first time! It was goodddd. Yummy pizza, in 6 different flavors. :) then we walked back and started the bonfire. It lasted until about 10, when it was time to leave the beach. We made smores, celebrated Vicky and Daniel's 17th birthdays, and sat in the sand.:)



Then Vicky, twins, Evan, and I went home in my car. Vicky stayed over for the night. We basically looked at baby pictures and uploaded beach pics onto facebook. Then fell asleep at around 12...

Then today, Amy came over and the three of us decided that we weren't going to do ThinkQuest this year. I don't think we have the time, especially because of collegeapps, school, and for me, FBLA. :[ Oh well... maybe next year? We'll still work on it a bit this year, because our topic is very good :]

Then Vicky left at 2, and Amy ate lunch with me. Then we took some ACt practice tests. I actually did pretty well this time using Amy's book! I missed one on both math and writing (the stupidest things... I don't think I deserved to miss the writing one, because it was ambiguous.. but math, I was just plain careless), and I missed 3 on reading. I HOPE the real ACT is as easy as Kaplan's practice tests. :] I need to take the science portion tonight..

Because we were getting way too tired and bored, we decided to go walk Tyke around the neighborhood. After Tyke released his poop, he didn't want to move. We tried everything- calling "TYKE" a million times, pulling on his leash, and faking "TREATTT!" as well. But to no avail; he wouldn't budge. We gave up and I carreid him half way back home. Then he started moving again! >< Blahh. I took a shower afterwards, afraid that Tyke's pee got on my favorite dress.



These past two days have been quite an adventure. Tomorrow I'm going to see the otolaryngologist finally.. and maybe CSUF. On Friday, I might either go to the Brea Mall with Amy or to Tiffany and Stephanie's house for mahjong with Jane. :] I'm excited. I still have to make websites for clubs, fill out the common app, finish essays, and more, but I think I can do it. :]

I'm glad you had fun yesterday, Byron!!

my tablet =lover

planning is hard

especially when some of the people you invite are irresponsible, apathetic people who think that there's nothing wrong with driving the host NUTS.

He had THREE freaking weeks to decide if he wanted to go. THREE weeks to ask his mummy. but NO. He doesn't care about anyone but himself. He's so selfish and rude! I don't even want him to go. I hate it when people think that they're so special. That I should be honored to have him go. But in truth, nobody really needs him, and I hope he doesn't show up.

One thing I really hate is apathy. I hate people who aren't responsive. I'm not going to just sit and wait until you're ready to decide. If you didn't RSVP by Friday, oops, sorry, but I guess you're not going.

film galore

Today was a good day. Kinda boring in the morning, but at 3 I went to Sameen's house and met up with her, Janet, and Margo to discuss AEP. We have a reallyyyy good idea :) and I can't wait til the project starts. Byronieee. You have to join FBLA this year and join AEP, pleaseeeeeee:)

So basically, if you were wondering what AEP is, it stands for "American Enterprise Project", and it's one of FBLA's three major chapter projects. The goal of AEP is to spread awareness about American commerce and how it works.. basically, teaching others about business, economics, and industries. This year, our project is going to involve the movie industry.. teaching kids how to create and edit their own films (El Rancho kids hopefully... we are going to contact my ex-principal ASAP), and teaching them about the inner workings of the business in general. And after they're all done, we're going to organize a FILM FESTIVAL to showcase their videos, maybe get sponsors (movie theaters..) to donate so we can have raffles and such, and competitions (vote which movie is the best). All donations will go towards the National Blind Children's Society. Oh, and we're going to try to collaborate with Troy's film club.. since Sayak went to El Rancho and all, he might be willing to teach those little middle schoolers:)

:D JOIN BYRON!!!

After that, at around 7, the family along with three of my sister's friends went to Rowland Heights for chinese food. We ate muslim food. It was pretty good but I got a stomach ache in the middle.

And now it's 11 and I just got home after 10, and I'm going to take another ACT practice test!

Rats and kidnaps

Yesterday was really fun! My sister took me out for the first time (meaning she actually drove me herself! without my mom in the car!), and we went to watch Ratatouille at Cinema City movie theaters. We woke up at like 9:30 because the movie started at 10:40, but when we arrived, there was no 10:40 show. WHY? Cuz I looked at Thursday's times instead of Friday's. The next one was at 11:55, so we went to Target and roamed around. Bought nothing. Then came back just in time to watch...

RATATOUILLE!!



The movie was REALLY good. And that says a lot because lately, I haven't really been enjoying the movies I've watched in the movie theaters (Pirates, Harry Potter, Oceans 13). God, I love Pixar/Disney. They are sooo good at all this animation stuff. :] Wow. The water looked freakishly like water, the food looked almost edible, and the rats were sooo adorable. The story was good, the ending was good, everything about it was great except for the fact it made me incredibly hungry. I'm glad I watched it and it was absolutely worth the $4. Yes, $4 movie tickets! If you want to go to a cheap movie theater, go to Cinema City, which is only $4 before noon. Well anyways, I love the trailers too... I want to watch "An Arctic Tale", the documentary that's kinda like "March of the Penguins" except it's about global warming and polar bears. I also want to watch the Nanny Diaries. :D

So afterwards, we went to eat Fish Grill. It was yummylicious- I got two fish tacos and my sister got trout, and we shared. This was at like 2:00 PM so we were starving. :] Then we went home. It was so hot upstairs so I didn't use the computer. Instead I was good and took an ACT practice test. I got a 35!! But that's assuming I got a 10/12 on the essay. Wow I really hope the ACT is as easy as these practice tests... I got a 32 on writing (only because of the correction thing. I actually got a 34, but they take 2 pts off automatically. So even if you get 100 % on the MC and 12/12 on the essay, the highest you can get is a 34), a 36 on reading (with the 2 pt correction thing), a 36 on math (with the -1 correction), and a 36 on science. I was shocked with my reading and science scores. I only missed two on reading and 1 on science!:) I'm definitely taking the ACT in September.

Hahah. So after that, my mom, sister and I went to the eye doctor to get my glasses. Something was wrong with them, so I have to wait a while til that gets fixed. Hmm. Then my dad came and we all went to Sam Woo for dinner. I was not hungry at all. Then we shopped at Loehmans. I picked soo many things (everything was so cheap), but ended up buying nothing. We shopped til 8:30, and then tried finding my dad so we could leave. But we couldn't find him!! We looked at Loehmans a LOT, went to Bed Bath and Beyond and searched for him there, but he was no where to be found. Then we went to the car, and found that it was reparked somewhere else. We were freaked out and thought he might have been kidnapped. But then at 9:10ish, when Loehmans was finally kicking out the customers, we saw a little short man in plaid and jeans come out. It was my dad! He was angry. He said he waited for more than an hour by the dressing room. How did we not see him? My parents argued a lotttt, but I think they're ok now..

And then at night I played with my tablet. :)



I love it!
Today I'm going to Sameen's house for AEP. Yay! Byebye!

Nothing exciting.

I didn't do anything again today. It was a lot funner going to CSUF:( Maybe I'll go more next week (not tomorrow! cuz my sister's going to take me to the movies).. at least I can actually step outside for a change. If it weren't for the few times I went to check for mail or walked across to Ama's house, I haven't been outside for the past two days. I'm going to be very very pale at this rate, lol.

But I'm so excited for the beach on Monday. I can't wait to see everyone again. I'm excited to walk along the shore of Huntington Beach, to eat yummy smores by the bonfire, and to explore the little shops and restaurants on Main Street. :) It better be fun, and people better not back out last minute, and no one better get lost. Haha.

So.. stuff I'm finally getting done:
-just finished the powerpoint for Ms. Lambert. I think I'm going to ask her for a optional reference..
-website for FBLA

Goodbye:) I'm hungry. I miss people! Bye:P

?? I don't know.

I'm tired.

Like, really tired. From everything I've been doing today. I just want to rest.

Today was boring and consisted of mainly finishing the college app essay I started a while back, the one which I talk about my experiences in physics. After spending like at least two hours writing it, in the discomforts of my humid, non-airconditioned room, I realized that it was getting pretty lengthy. 1700+ words, 14000+ characters, and 5 pages, 1.5 spaced. Well.. they didn't have a maximum. Only a 250 word minimum. But then I asked people on collegeconfidential, and they said 500 should be ideal and I should keep it under a page. A PAGE? Now I'm very mad. That after spending all that time when I could've been doing something else, I have to start over again.

I hate collegeapps.

Yes, that's the only thing that happened today. Well, other than So You Think You Can Dance, which was on tonight. It was a pretty good episode, but I was still preoccupied with my essay. ;___; And now, I'm looking at the huge list of things I have yet to complete-- the stupid IB essay which I have no clue to begin, my SAT studying, and everything in between.

I'm tired of it all.
Isn't it supposed to be summer?

Harry Potter and my Uncle's singing

All I did today was stay home doing nothing but reading Harry Potter. It was relaxing. Immediately after I woke up at 10:20 (gasps! so late), I started reading. I didn't even eat breakfast. I totally ignored the schedule I had planned for today (studying bio, working on club websites) and just read. Then at lunch I went over to my grandma's house, ate lunch, and read some more. I read until 5:30, when I finally finished the book. *sobs*. It's over. It's finally over, and I'm sad. I won't spoil the ending for all you people who didn't finish yet, but I will say that I liked it a lot. It was really funny but sad, and all my questions were answered. Some parts were unrealistic and stuff, but what do you expect in a world full of wizards? It was pretty good. Gosh, I really want to voice my opinions but I know people will hate me if I spoiled the ending. I'll wait a month or so.

So anyways, while I was reading, my uncle was singing. Singing in a mix of chinese and taiwanese and english; it was really weird. LOL, he is so random. And he likes to pet my head.

Anyways, GUESS WHAT ARRIVED TODAY!? My Graphire4 Wacom 6x8 tablet. It's beautiful. I had a difficulties getting used to it initially, but now I'm getting the hang of it. I wish Corel Painter had more mediums though, like pen and markers, cuz it's weird sketching with acrylics. I like it, and I'll definitely be using it some more later on.

:) Friday will be fun! I'm going to watch Ratatoulle with my sister at Cinema City, most likely. And then Pho or In N Out Burger afterwards.. hmm, yeah:D

fruit punch and blisters

Today was very unproductive, but usually all days at internship are :P. Well, let's see what happened. I woke up early as always (tomorrow is the first day I can actually sleep in!!) and came to the lab at around 8:20ish. Then Byronieeee came, then Sameen, then Chris, then the twins (at like 10:00! slackers! jk). :D Then at around 11, everyone + efrem - twins went to Troy to turn in our 150 hour reports. We also asked whether AP psych would be offered next year to IB kids, but Mrs. Montoya, or whatever her name is, didn't know and told us to ask another counselor later. Then we went to check if the library was opened so we can read some IB extended essays, but it wasn't. Chris and Byron went in and suffocated from asbestos. JK! So we decided to go to lunch at KFC, and since I already brought my lunch, I just shared some potato wedges with Byron :D Me like potatoes. I think everyone knows that now. UHOH, I think I gained weight because the jeans I wore today were kinda tight. hmm, too much information. Then after lunch, we went back to school and talked to Mrs. Williams. She said she didn't know the whole situation involving AP psych, but Efrem saw his schedule, AP psych wasn't there!! So that means it wasn't on mine. After much thought, I decided to add AP Stats to my schedule, but now I'm not sure if it's the right choice for me. Math is now one of my weakest subjects (DUDE, I used to be so good at math in elementary school. I got this award AND my teacher said I was "ivy bound". Look at me now and laugh), and my sister even said that Rod was hard. And Tina, intelligent Tina, told me that she thought Trig was easier than Stats. And I almost got a B in Trig. Actually, I did get a B in Trig but Mrs. Roach rounded me up. So .. what to do? These are the classes I'm thinking of switching to:

1. AP Environmental Science- seems like an easy class, just memorization supposedly, which I'm good at.

2. IB Global Studies- I love history, I love culture, but I do not like essays and boring classes. Plus I don't need the IB credit.

3. free period. This is self-explanatory, but trust me it won't look good to colleges especially because I'm already in art class.

My other option is to take AP chemistry, but that would mean another miserable cycle of Mr. Wahl's freakishly difficult tests and hard to understand lectures. This would be a pain, but if Regli is teaching I might consider.

So, what should I do???

Anyways, after all that, Efrem, Sameen and I trekked back to CSUF, where we abandoned him and went to the library instead. But before we split to our separate ways, my feet were reallyyy hurting because of my stupid Seventeen flipflops (that's what I get from wearing magazine brand shoes), so I took them off and walked barefoot. Little did I know, the ground was freaking hot... so I jumped and ran and found refuge when I reached the cool grass. BUT suddenly, I saw a humungo bee on the grass, so I ran a little more, but then I reached the pavement again. I sighed and put back my shoes, trying not to touch the sides, where two blisters were forming on my poor little feet. However, by the time they were starting to hurt some more, Sameen and I had already reached the library, and I was safe to take off my shoes. :) We then checked our email and saw that Dr. K responded. I think we ask her too many questions and she never understands what we mean. Oh well. Then we went to the tables and took a nap. I combined two big arm chairs and made a bed. I woke up incredibly thirsty, called my mom, but only received the answering machine. I was disappointed. Hey, I was really thirsty because my orange juice expired so I didn't really have much to drink. :P SO yeah, then Sameen let me borrow change so I bought a fruitpunch. We then traveled back to the science building and re-refined several of our compounds on ICM. Then I went home, and now I'm here, about to read some Harry Potter.

WOW, I write a lot.

I wish I were a wizard

I got the 7th Harry Potter book today, and no, I haven't finished reading it yet. Unlike most people went to Borders at midnight to grab the last installment of the Harry Potter series, I didn't get it until my dad and sister went to Costco Saturday morning to buy it. Honestly, I don't want to finish it too quickly. The fact that it's the last Harry Potter book is upsetting. I don't want it to end. Although I'm not one of those maniacal fans who dress up as wizards and create blogs pretending to be Harry, I admit that I really love these books. :( I grew up with them (I remember first reading it in 4th grade and not really understanding the first few chapters), and it's sad that it's finally ending.

Well, I'm probably not finishing it anytime soon, since my sister and I are taking turns reading it. I'm on chapter 9 or so right now, so DON'T YOU DARE SPOIL IT FOR ME! :P

Some other news. I went to Judy's 17th surprise bday party yesterday and it was pretty fun. I played the WII for the first time, pool for like the second time, and mah-jong for the first time too. I like mah-jong a lot, but my mom disapproves. She says there will be no gambling in the house :(. Well, I don't like gambling, but I like the game. It's kind of like jie-long, because you can screw people over with your cards:P.

Hehe, well.. my sister's almost at Chapter 8, so that means I'm going to read next! Yay!

Fridays are my friends

I love Fridays.

This particular Friday was an awesome one. Why? Today I completed my 150 hour internship. And even though it isn't officially over-- I still need to do more research to finish my project-- it's still great that I no longer need to fax those time tables and get those signatures from my mentor. Today we barely worked (but do we ever?). Minnie came around 11, and the seven of us went to the Brea Mall. I explored the mall with Sameen helping me find a gift for Judy's 17th birthday. I ended up buying a cute polo from Aeropostale for a good price. Afterwards, Minnie drove us to the Cheesecake Factory. Today was the second time I've been there, and it was even better than the first time I went ( for my 16th birthday with Amanda). Sameen and I shared a really yummyyy pasta (bowtie pasta, mushrooms, carmelized onions, and peas with a garlic cream sauce) and a White Chocolate Raspberry cheesecake. The peach cobbler cheesecake that I got last time was better, but the raspberry one was pretty good too:) Hehe, I'm really stuffed now, and it's already 8:30!

I'm looking forward to the rest of my summer. Though I still have a long way to go before I can finally relax with nothing to worry about, I'm excited for the bonfire, going on my little adventures, my family vacation along the coast of Cali, and starting all of these projects I have in mind. :D

Dooode. So today I created a zinch.com profile (I learned about it from NLC..it sounded really cool, and I guess it is cool, but lags a LOT) and am thinking about whether I should apply for some scholarships on fastweb.com. I also started filling out the commonap (which in my opinion..SUCKS because of the word limits on extracurricular activities) and began creating a little notebook for college research.

What I'm looking for in a college:
-strong research and academic facilities
-diverse and friendly school population
-safe campus
-cool neighborhood (not very isolated, preferably near a large city or town)
-good teacher to student ratio
-good dorms and food
-lots of student activities
-professors are the among the best in their fields but are still committed to teaching undergrads
-study abroad program (?)

One of the reasons why I'm apply to a lot of ivy league schools is not because of the prestige, but because of the incredible amount of diversity they have. I look at the brochures I receive from colleges like Yale and Harvard, and I see how many countries, ethnicities, and cultures that are presented by the students there. I think it'd be so cool to have roommates from all around the world. Rooming with someone so different from me should give me different perspectives.. and hopefully I can learn to be more culturally-aware, tolerant, and less apathetic about current events. I'm not saying that the UCs don't have diversity, but most people that go there are residents of California too :\. I have an urge to meet different people. I'm afraid that if I go to a UC school, I'll just stick with the same group of friends (I'm sure a LOT of people from Troy will end up going to the UCs) and will never really give myself the opportunity to befriend others. Okay, enough about that...

off to more research!:P Stanford is right now. I didn't really like Stanford when I visited with my sister before (I liked UCLA better), but I looked on their website and it seems like they really care about their students; they're not looking perfection, they're looking for genuine people who are passionate about what they do. But maybe that's what they all say, just to make people like me feel like I stand a chance.

bad things about summer

Hmph. There are SOME things I don't like about summer.

-the crazy amount of ants in my room:(
-the crazy heast
-the fact that it's too short.

*sigh*

Summer Reflections

Hello:)!

So summer is halfway over, and it feels like it hasn't begun yet. Maybe it's because I'm stuck in a computer lab for 8 hours a day, 5 days a week working on my internship for school. Maybe because it's because instead of relaxing at the beach and shopping, I'm "trying" to study for upcoming SAT and ACT exams. Maybe it's the fact I have so many projects to complete that I haven't even started yet- ThinkQuest competition, websites for various businesses, design powerpoint for my FBLA advisor, etc. etc. etc. The list goes on. And on top of all that, I still need to begin my IB extended essay on the analysis of Pablo Picasso's The Old Guitarist and Woman with a Guitar. That's not all though. I need to begin the common app, build a list of colleges to apply to, and research all of them.

My summer's so busy, and yet I like it. Interning is not bad at all- it's actually fun. I'm currently doing in silico research at Cal State Fullerton with five of my good friends, so there's always someone to talk to, laugh with, and eat with. The research my partner and I are conducting is also rather interesting-- we're studying the inhibition of certain enzymes to create a drug that would slow the progression of Alzheimer's Disease. But my days aren't completely filled with work. I would explode from boredom if I were required to stare at the computer screen all day long. Instead, the six of us interns play cards (something I've become obsessed with this year), scream when we fall in Winter Bells, take more-than-an-hour lunch breaks, and more. It's actually a really good internship because I'm learning a lot about the research process, science in general, and having fun at the same time.

I lied when I said "instead of relaxing at the beach and shopping, I'm "trying" to study for upcoming SAT and ACT exams". I wish it were true. I've actually been shopping a lot lately and am planning a beach bonfire on the 30th with some friends. I can't wait. I should be studying for SATs, and if I plan to take it, the ACT. I still need to take SAT II Biology E/M (most likely ecology, but I'll see how that goes on testing day), Math IIC, and maybe SAT I :(. It sucks, but that's what I get for procrastinating and not taking SAT prep class.

I do have lots of projects to begin, but I'm excited for all of them. Janet and Margo asked me to help with AEP this year, so I'm going to meet with them one day and plan. Hopefully this year we can make it to state and nationals again:) I'm also excited about competing in ThinkQuest with Amy and Vicky. I've always wanted to compete, but I never really had the motivation and time. Now I'm just brainstorming ideas for our website and trying to find international webdesigners I can ask to join our team. Besides ThinkQuest, I'm really going to try to get a club passed this year for webdesign. I need to get ASB's approval first, so I don't know how it will turn out. Mark wanted me to join his Media Technology club (he said he'd make me Vice President of webdesign), but I'm afraid such a big club would make it hard for me to get my goals accomplished-- that is, to form a group of students who want to help Mr. Sutton with the Troy website, to help the elderly better understand the Internet, to encourage people to compete in website development and/or ThinkQuest, etc. Besides that, I need to meet with the FBLA board for next year, make websites for clubs, and do more research in my artbook. Maybe I'm stretching myself too thin with all these projects, but I'm not doing it to add another bullet to my resume, I actually like feeling "involved" at school and the community.

IB essay. Wow, I'm screwed. I have no idea what I'm doing. Hopefully the Troy library won't be closed and I can read some essays from last year or the year before.

And finally, college apps. To be completely honest, I'm really intimidated by the whole process. I've been reading some of the "what are my chances?" posts on collegeconfidential.com, looking at the amazing stats of all these rising seniors I'm going up against. :( It also terrifies me to read about these students who had 2300+ SAT scores, decent extracurriculars, and valedictorian-status GPAs who still got denied admission. For me, I know whatever happens happens for a reason. Even if I don't get to, let's say- Yale (which is probably going to happen), that most likely means I wasn't meant to go there. Maybe going to the East coast isn't right for me, maybe I shouldn't go to such a competitive college (it'll be just another 4 years of stressful highschool experiences), maybe I'm better off at a UC, closer to home and my family. :D But still, I'm going to apply to these probably 12 schools:

UCs: Los Angeles, Berkeley, Irvine, and San Diego
Private Cali Schools: Stanford and Pomona
Out of state: U of Chicago, Princeton, Brown, Columbia, Yale, and Harvard

:( Yes, I'm going to be so busy this summer, but it's going to be a great one.

Things to look forward to:
-family vacation to somewhere up north (still in Cali), maybe to visit Stanford too
-beach bonfire
-surprise bday party this Friday
-zoo with Byron hopefully! maybe aquarium if it's too far.
-cue pics adventure with tiffany, stephanie, sameen, byron, and chris

Have a great night! I'm watching my favorite summer TV show now- So You Think You Can Dance!

Beginnings

I made another one.

I think this makes it my, what, 100th blog? I like the magical feeling of creating blogs for the first time. I don't know why, but it's a good feeling. It's like a new beginning, a time for change. I have so many other blogs, but writing new entries in them doesn't seem right. My xanga is too childish, my other blogger annoys me, my facebook is too public, and a hosted blog would be too inconvenient. For this reason, I've decided to begin a new online journal-- a place where I can, hopefully, write in for the next year or so.